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What’s coming to Cape Town 2010 (JAN/ FEB)

Posted on 08. Jan, 2010 by Peter Orsmond in Blog, featured

Good day all you loyal Moral Fibre guys and ladyguys! So 2009 came and went and for most was a good year however in my case it was the worst year of my life so I shall not harp on that…1 car stolen, 1 car crash and no job for 4 months, got dumped a couple times and I drove over a squirrel…yes great! Indeed. Fuck you 2009!

Well uhemmm moving on swiftly 2010 yes…what is in store for you lovely Cape Tonians. Lots I tell you. This year is gonna be a banger so hold on to your broekies. (literally cause the wind is a bitch) I take no responsibility if you decide to read on with this article.

So in Jan my tips are The L’ Oramarins Queens Plate this Saturday (8^th Jan) at Kenilworth where you can dress to impress and walk around like a ponce in a suit in 35degree sun. The theme this year is strictly blue and white so shopping for a suit or dress at PEP may not cut the cake here. Ladies I am issuing this advice for your own good and warning you that you must wear the shortest skirts or dresses to ensure that your body does not overheat. Very NB! Please send me pics. The Queens Plate is quite expensive (R250 for access to the Style Lounge Village and no drinks and food included in that price) so if $ is an issue wait for the J&B Met at the end of the month which will be a crazy naked drunk party.

The J&B Met is on the 30^th Jan and caters for most so I suggest all pull into this jol cause it is going to be off the hook! Bring some money and throw it on your favourite pony and who knows maybe Swamp Donkey may come in 1^st and you will win yourself some quick cash which you can spend immediately at the bar or just lose it because you are so drunk. (Not speaking from experience of course) I reckon this is going to be a great party so make sure you are there or you will be sorry you missed it when looking through other people Facebook photos. Tickets range from R150 for a general entrance ticket with a free R10 betting voucher whoohooo all the way up to R3000 for VIP entrance into hospitality suites etc.

Righty-o The Kirstenbosch Gardens Summer Concerts are also on every Sunday (till the 4^th April) and there are some great bands and some kak bands. So go and support our local bands because the ticket prices are cheap and drinking wine on a Sunday is a great way to start the week, yes hungover on Monday mornings weekly meeting goes down great with the boss. I am really looking forward to watching Fokofpolisiekar, Aking, Zebra and Giraffe, Goldfish and Dirty Skirts and am not going to miss them! Ticket prices range from R65 – R95.

Other random things that I will be doing this summer which may also be fun are:

• Going on a sunset booze cruise in the harbour. They are cheap and well worth it especially if your Captain is tikked up and decides to change course for Mozambique
• Doing a wine tour on mountain bikes (which is offered as a tour- google it you lazy bastards) – This was not my idea and it has disaster written all over it because one of my hobbies when very drunk is bush diving and I can only imagine what I will be like on a mountain bike pissed out of my skull.
• Hikes are all the rage these days even more so then the music of Right Said Fred. But seriously do yourself a favour and go for a hike/ walk/ ride or run up one of our many mountains and your soul will be filled with bliss and make sure your bag is filled with booze for the sunset at the top of the mountain
• Catch the train to Simons Town and then have lunch that side and a few tipples because nobody has to drive and all can get on like a scone! I have been assured that catching the train is safe and a few mates and ladymates have done it. But just in case take a panga in your back pack or just have your “angry/ don’t fuck wit me I’m loco essay” face on and all the dodgy people will leave you alone
• Summer cocktails are also great and plenty places have half off specials and my favourites are Julip on Long Street, Café Sofia on Kloof and Ricks Café off Kloof. There are plenty other places too!
• I am also paying Manos on Green Point another visit for the best god damn Prego Roll I have ever had! Yes it was truly ama-zing! I did not even put tomato sauce on it and I am addicted to that shit. Another plus is that Jade Bar is upstairs and that place is fun and the barmen pour a great Tequila or 10
• Super 14 also starts in Feb which is great news if you’re a rugby fan or just like the general atmosphere that surrounds rugby fever. So hopefully the Sharks fuck shit up this year and give all you other teams! The best places to watch the games besides at the actual stadium itself are pubs and my favourites are The Perseverance on Buitenkant, Kimberly Hotel (also near there) the old Castle Hotel (near there also by Harrington Street). Firemans Arms is also great but steep for drinks and Foresters Arms is also a great jol and plus you meet random old ballies who tell you weird stories while you are taking a piss at the urinal and can eat pub grub!
• Oh and the beach is quite a nice place too! So grab your Speedo and shove a few socks down it and make your way to Camps Bay to stare at tits (which is the only proper way to tan) I have no qualms about showing my nipples so why cant you ladies! Clifton 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd and 4^th (for the gays) are also beaches worth going too. You can also go to Llandudno but make sure your car does not get stolen like mine did (the thieves will burn in the fiery pits of hell) I mainly surf up the West Coast at Deerdesteen because there are no crowds and it is also a fantastic beach to go for a walk along. An afternoon stroll along the Sea Point promenade is also great! Afterwards go and get yourself an ice cream in Mouille Point there is an awesome Italian gelato place underneath Wakame so check it out the Chocolate Orange is the shittttt! Or you can go to La Vie and get smashed because that place always has a great vibe especially when there is live music or a DJ
• Braai’s are the order of summer this year and a mid-week braai is a killer so make braai night a common theme of your week and invite some mates. Get creative and braai a snoek! If your looking for a kiff place to braai on the beach then take a trip up the West Coast to Eerstesteen and you pay R20 to Braai there and use there facilities which are already built braais but you need to take a braai grill. You are not supposed to drink booze but we always do anyway. Quite a nice shorebreak in front too which makes drunk swimming a great idea!

Okay I have run out of ideas so comment and add some! I have to go now and see a man about a dog and a horse…bye

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2. Nokia’s Comes with Music bus is ready to party with Cape Town
3. Surfing Cape Town
4. Mountain Bikers beware Land Rover coming for you
5. Butlers-best take away pizza in Cape Town. Why? Because it says so on the box!

Tags: aKING, booze cruise, Cape Town, cape town 2010, Dirty Skirts, Fokofpolisiekar, Goldfish, hiking, J&B Met, J&B Met date, J&B Met tickets, L’ Oramarins Queens Plate, manos green point, mountain biking, prego roll, simons town, summer cocktails, super 14, things to do cape town, train to simons town, Zebra and Giraffe