Chant “Miyuki Hatoyama” when Julius Malema speaks!

Posted on 12. Nov, 2009 by vincenthofmann in Politics, Satire, featured

Yukio Hatoyama, Prime Minister of Japan since early September 2009, has with him brought a first lady of stellar proportion. Miyuki Hatoyama, first lady, “life composer”, author, cookery writer, clothes maker, television personality and tarento shall provide the pizzaz to Yukio Hatoyama’s foreign policy!

It’s not uncommon for political leaders’ partners to be brought into the spotlight, only to find that they are inappropriate for public exposure, decent or otherwise. Cecilia Sarkozy is quoted as as saying”I don’t see myself as a First Lady…That bores me. I’m not politically correct. I potter about in jeans, combat trousers or cowboy boots. I don’t fit the mould” (The Daily Mail, 2009), when asked how she felt about her role as first lady of France. Miyuki Hatoyama is unlike Mrs Sarkozy, she is bat shit fucking crazy.

Cecilia Sarkozy, looks good in Chanel, pats Nicolas’ head whilst towering above him in her Cuban heels, but does she purport to having gone to Venus for a quick trip in a UFO? No, I don’t think so. Hatoyama on the other hand has. “While my body was sleeping, I think my spirit flew on a triangular-shaped UFO to Venus,” she said “It was an extremely beautiful place and was very green.” (Excerpt from Most Bizarre Things I’ve Encountered) Now as far as we mere mortals are concerned Venus is not green, nor would the human eye consider it a “beautiful place” – unstable and carbon dense yes, beautiful and green, not so much.

Hatoyama’s lunacy is shared though with another celestial explorer, the poster boy for Thetanistas Tom Cruise whom she said she met in a former life when Tom Cruise then incarnated as a Japanese whispered sweet nothings into her ear. Perhaps Mrs Hatoyama fell asleep watching the last Samurai? Perhaps Tom Cruise, who is off the reservation too, summoned the full force of the mighty novelist L. Ron Hubbard and altered both time and space and really did intervene in Mrs Hatoyama’s former life.

Traveling to Venus is standard crazy, waking up every morning and “eating the sun” is full blown fucking nuts. Whilst some have suggested it bears some semblance to cultural practice performed by North African tribes, the correlation between the two make little, if not no, logical sense. Hatoyama, who on national TV “closed her eyes and mimed the act of removing pieces from the sky. ‘Yum, yum, yum,’ she said, placing the imaginary solar morsels in her mouth. ‘I get energy from it. My husband also does this.’” (TimesOnline.co.uk) considers a healthy solar-crunch the best way to kick off her day.

Perhaps it’s worthwhile remembering Mrs Hatoyama the next time Julius Malema opens his cavity, because he might not be the brightest blip on the commie radar but at least he’s semi-sane.