I got bored and went through my spam mails again. Why do I do this to myself? Masochist.
Anyway, the latest gem is from a ‘John Wood’. His mail is long (so I won’t paste it here). I think he’s compensating. Apparently I have a rich uncle who died and all I have to do to claim millions and millions of dollars is send this Wood guy all my personal details. Instead, I sent him this :
Dear Mister Wood
Your mail is very long. I was reading it and thinking to myself, “This mail, it is long”.
Perhaps you need to work on the length of your mails. Perhaps using less words might make your mails shorter. Here is an example of what you could have written :
Dear awesome person
I bow to your superiority. I build shrines to you.
Much worshipful love
John
Instead you send me this very long mail about dead people and money. There is not one mention of my amazing ability to drink a litre of water without taking a breath. I am insulted.
You are right about one thing: my uncle in London was indeed an oil baron. He was also a vegetarian. I do not want this bunny money, so keep it. Are you a vegetarian? I bet you are. Your mail seemed like something a vegetarian would write. I bet you even munched on filthy carrots while you were typing. You’re nothing but a filthy carrot muncher.
Thank you for taking the time to write me a very long mail, carrot muncher.
regards
Awesome person
crayg
Dear awesome person.
Your posts add a little light to my day (difficult as the sun adds alot of light to my day). Keep them coming.
Have a great day.
B-)
Dear awesome person.
You are awesome.
From a less superior awesome person.
Scream
Headbang Today