I have long believed that mankind deserves nothing less than to be erased from this miserable rock. Unfortunately I lacked that one piece of all-encompassing evidence to motivate the mass annihilation of the species.
Yes, yes, we have wars, we have holocausts. We have ethnic cleansing and lying politicians. We have weapons of mass destruction and child pornography and all these other things that make us absolutely pathetic and lowly as a species. But I was looking for the clincher. The cherry. The holy grail, exhibit A, the thing that would allow me to stand up before God and the world and say, “Yes, we are useless piece of poop floating on the cess pool of history.” Applause, standing ovation, mass suicide.
Today I found that evidence. I found that gem. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the : “Rate-my-camel-toe” Facebook application. No. This is not a joke. Someone out there who has the ability to develop Facebook apps (granted, it’s not rocket science but it does require a fair amount of logical thought) has decided that his contribution to the betterment of humanity is the ability to rate your female friends camel-toe. The fact that the term “camel-toe” even exists should be reason enough for shame and ridicule, but now we’re rating them. The insult to injury was that I couldn’t find a rate-a-restaurant app. I can give your camel-toe 4 out of 5, but if I had an amazing plate of veal last night, well, you’ll never know.
Anyway. Hope you guys are having a good new year so far. It might be your last because when the alien overlords come, I’m showing them this app and you are all going to kak off.
crayg
I love that you used veal as an example. “I’ll have the veal… with a side of koala bear and some kitten shavings. If only I could rate my meal somewhere online..”
I too wish I could taste what dodo tasted like. Coelacanth anyone?
The alien overlords aren’t coming. Why would they bother?