craygJust another Moral Fibre Magazine weblog

If the rapture had happened during this movie, I would’ve been really upset. I was awed and amazed. My breath was taken away.

Let us begin. First of all, eye candy. Avatar is one of the most visually stunning movies I’ve ever seen. It doesn’t take long before you’re fully immersed and there is no hope of escape. Everything is cool, from the mech-warrior-style robots to the skinny blue cat aliens to the humongous pterodactyls they ride.

Now the storyline. As I’ve mentioned previously, Cameron tends to take formulaic storylines and perfect them. So this is your standard ‘I-was-bad-but-some-shit-happened-and-now-I’m-good’ story. Cameron manages to let the character development flow smoothly and the audience is free to grow and change with the character himself. The transformations are slow and subtle and there is no one eureka moment. It’s all very well-paced.

Tons of action sequences, all beautifully shot. It’s one of the rare films where I actually got drawn into the action scenes, I felt like I was there, I found myself holding my breath many times (and not just because the guy next to me had the personal hygiene of a yak). It was quite the thrill ride.

So, there has to be at least one complaint right? Yes. Sometimes the movie gets a little preachy about being nice to trees and things. I know we should all love nature, but not all of us are tree-huggers. I suppose James ‘I-make-good-movies-sometimes’ Cameron is allowed to get a little self-indulgent from time-to-time, but there are a few scenes that felt a little laboured. Too much talking blue people! Kick ass now!

Even if you’re not a sci-fi nut, Avatar is definitely worth a watch. Go see it in 3D. Do not ask questions, just do it.

One time I was driving through the Free State and I rode my car into a ditch. Being of sound mind, I immediately fell asleep (it was 2am after all). When I woke (several hours later) I discovered that my car had sunk several inches into the ditch. I quickly fell asleep again. Later that morning I managed to climb out and find a friendly farmer who pulled my car out (the ditch) with his tractor.

This is not only a true story, but it is also an excellent illustration of what will happen to Robbin Williams and John Travolta should they continue to make movies like ‘Old Dogs’. Yes, they too will drive their cars into ditches in the middle of the Free State. Also, they will become shunned like Charlie the Unicorn at a Candy Mountain bake sale.

First of all, this movie was edited together by an ADD 14 year old. The first 20 minutes left me bewildered. The plot moved along at a breakneck cartoon pace and I got scared. Then for another half an hour, the plot didn’t budge at all. It turned into a documentary. Then for another 20 minutes the plot shot back into breakneck speed. There are claw marks on the inside of my skull now.

Secondly, the soundtrack was stolen from an episode of TinyToons. It made me scared. I’m a very straight-edge guy. Cartoon music is for cartoons. I learnt that from the School of Obvious. Clearly the makers of this movie never attended that school. They attended the School of I’ve-lost-my-damn-mind.

It’s not all bad. Justin Long (the Mac guy) makes an amusing appearance. Seth Green kind of helps too. But it’s not enough.

I think John Travolta hates mankind.

Anyway, wait for it on DVD. If you want to watch a good movie, go see ‘Law Abiding Citizen’. Yes, it stars Gerard “talk-like-a-stroke-victim” Butler, but at least it has a story and characters that have some depth.

This post contains spoilers. Don’t read it if you don’t want to spoil this movie. Oh, too late, the director got there before me.

This movie is so formula, it’s scary. Complete prick meets uptight chick and they end up hating each other at first but then they have ‘a moment’ and they fall in love. That’s the whole movie. Sorry if I spoiled it for you. Maybe you enjoy predictable story lines. Maybe you love the way that Gerard Butler talks like a recovering stroke victim. Maybe you like implausible restaurant scenes involving adult toys. If you like any of these things, you should watch this movie. If you don’t like any of these things you’d be better off watching a dead monkey gather flies. In fact, maybe you should watch a dead monkey gather flies anyway.

There are however pros and cons to watching a movie like this :
Pros – Learnt to play ‘My Girl’ on the harmonica and I don’t even own a harmonica.
Cons – See pros.