Once upon a time, Disney made a television show. This post is all about that television show. Sit down kids, get a mug of your favorite chocolate milk and let’s begin. A long time ago, on a city street far, far away, there lived a nightclub known as The Doors.
Happy punks and rockers would frolic on it’s dance floor, drink merrily at it’s bars and generally be joyous. Friendly bouncers would greet patrons at the door and wish them well on their adventures within. Then a dark thing happened. An evil came upon this happy haven and as a result it was moved to what seemed to be a better place.
For a while all seemed well. People continued going but something did not seem right. I was one of those people. I tried to ignore the feelings of sadness in my belly but on Friday night the claws of evil fell from eyes and I saw the truth.
The bouncers have changed. They are no longer happy and friendly. They are now juiced up, foul mouthed fools of ogre-descent. They have little, if no respect at all for the patrons of the establishment for which they work. Perhaps I am the fool. Perhaps my concept of fun is outdated. Perhaps it is now considered fun to be sworn at and intimidated by overgrown apes for no particularly good reason. If that is the case I shall gracefully bow out and let other more ‘fun’ people step into the firing line.
Once inside I found myself surrounded by brightly clothed people. At first they seemed pleasant and friendly, but after being elbowed and shoved several times on the dance floor, I saw the truth. These were horrible little emo children with no manners. Their brightly coloured t-shirts and nickelbacky wrist bands made me cringe. Their strange backwards baseball caps and inability to hold their liquor made me wish for a sudden and horrendous death (for them, not me).
As I stood at the edge of the dance floor, I was bewildered and sad. The music strained along, happy and bouncy. Gone was the hard rock, alternative and metal of yore. It had been replaced by horrid Irish drinking songs. I went home, dejected and sad.
Back to Disneys show. The Doors is a lot like an episode of Gummi Bears now. Totally pathetic music, brightly coloured ding-bats bouncing around, and daft ogres out to beat them. While life might seem more fun as a cartoon, it is not in reality.
Doors, I vomit on you.
crayg