15
Mar
2010

Equality Court takes aim at Malema

No Comments

Yesterday was not a good day for my patriometor; thoughts like “We’re the next Zimbabwe” circled around my paranoid scull like road vultures at the Atterbury explosion. Firstly, there was the announcement by the local mafia a.k.a. the ANC that all productive agricultural land may become a state asset. Read: we are the next Zim let’s get the hell outta here. And to be fair it’s not just plain ol’ female paranoia here – this crazy has stats. Well sort of :-)

I saw a headline the other day that 90% of all farms purchased by the state with a view to land reform lies barren. (Would be useful if I could find a link to this article now, alas it alludes me.) This is in line with rumours on the topic that I’ve read/seen on television before and this is the case simply because any business is useless without the proper equipment (which also need to be maintained) and a budget to cover running costs. Government kinda let the ball drop (cough – again) on this small detail. Now they want to apply this success rate to all our food?! This is obviously not entirely accurate: rumours along these lines have been going around for a decade – this is just the first time that I’ve ever seen them look at how to go about it – namely changing Section 25 of our Constitution.

S25 reads as follows ( I know it’s long but it’s also important so take the minute to read it please. If you’re just not that dedicated, skip the blue bit):

(1) No one may be deprived of property except in terms of law of general
application, and no law may permit arbitrary deprivation of property.
(2) Property may be expropriated only in terms of law of general application–
(a) for a public purpose or in the public interest; and
(6) subject to compensation, the amount of which and the time and manner of
payment of which have either been agreed to by those affected or decided or
approved by a court.
(3) The amount of the compensation and the time and manner of payment must be just
and equitable, reflecting an equitable balance between the public interest and the interests of
those affected, having regard to all relevant circumstances, including-
(a) the current use of the property;
(b) the history of the acquisition and use of the property;
(e) the market value of the property;
(d) the extent of direct state investment and subsidy in the acquisition and beneficial
capital improvement of the property; and
(e) the purpose of the expropriation.
(4) For the purposes of this section-
(a) the public interest includes the nation’s commitment to land reform, and to
reforms to bring about equitable access to all South Africa’s natural resources;
and
(6) property is not limited to land.
(5) The state must take reasonable legislative and other measures, within its available
resources, to foster conditions which enable citizens to gain access to land on an equitable
basis.
(6) A person or community whose tenure of land is legally insecure as a result of past
racially discriminatory laws or practices is entitled, to the extent provided by an Act of Parliament,
either to tenure which is legally secure or to comparable redress.
(7) A person or community dispossessed of property after 19 June 1913 as a result of
past racially discriminatory laws or practices is entitled, to the extent provided by an Act of
Parliament, either to restitution of that property or to equitable redress.
(8) No provision of this section may impede the state from taking legislative and other
measures to achieve land, water and related reform, in order to redress the results of past racial
discrimination, provided that any departure from the provisions of this section is in accordance
with the provisions of section 36 (1).
(9) Parliament must enact the legislation referred to in subsection (6).

Except to say that a law of general application means a normal law that we all know and that Section 36 refers to the limitation of rights and the process one must follow to limit rights protected in the constitution, it’s all pretty straight forward. The thing is that this section allows for land reform on an equitable basis. So if they want to change it, it means nationalisation on an inequitable basis. Without beating around the bush, this sucks elephant bollocks. Especially if you add Honourable Comrade Malema to this equation who, like Zuma, is blatantly flaunting laws that are supposed to protect the poor and the well being of the economy in general  by not playing open cards with their assets and how they come by them.

Why? Because we live in developing country which means that foreign investors are nervous. Political stability is the largest determining factor when they decide where to stash their loot. Current times already make for a low risk appetite. Thanks to our distinguished leaders for tarnishing our image just that little more so that China, India and the rest of the NDC’s have a bit better chance of getting those much needed and limited funds. Hope they’re getting a proper kick-back for this one.

On the upside, Malema got fined 50 g’s by the Equality Court for saying that the girl who accused Zuma of raping her enjoyed it. He’s appealing of course and even if he looses he’ll probably end up not paying it like all his traffic fines but it somehow made me smile anyway…for a second. Here is the big downer – there simply are no consequences for these people. None. Needless to say, this does not bode well for our future. And that’s being optimistic.

Cartoon Originally by Zapiro

Cartoon Originally by Zapiro

Tags: , ,
Posted in Current Affairs, Politics, blog

read more
07
Jan
2010

Lark: Tour Dates 2010

No Comments

Lark is one of the top ten bands in SA by any measure: if you haven’t seen the perform – make an effort and you will be rewarded. Just make it quick – Lark tickets are as scarce as a politician’s virtues. Here’s where and when:

Fri 27 Feb, RAMfest IV, Worcester (CPT)

Sat 06 March, RAMfest, Emmarentia Dam (JHB)
only JHB show

Fri 05 March, Tings n Times (PTA)

Fri 12 March, Klein Libertas Theatre (Stellenbosch)
with SHE MAN LION

Sat 13 March, The Assembly (CPT)
with SHE MAN LION

For further reading on Lark the Band click here

The Enchanting Inge Beckman of Lark

The Enchanting Inge Beckman of Lark

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Lifestyle, Music, blog

read more
29
Dec
2009

King Buyelekhaya Dalindyebo Annexes South Africa

3 Comments

In the wake of convictions on criminal charges such as murder and assualt, King Buyelekhaya Dalindyebo of the abaThembu has carefully considered his options and, rather creatively, has come up with a brilliant solution to his pending incarceration: annex South Africa! King Buyelekhaya Dalindyebo gave formal notice to the Presidency, parliament and the NPA that following his humiliation at the hands of the High Court of Mthatha and the South African Media, he and his people – loosely estimated at 10 million – will be leaving South Africa, so to speak.

Now lets start with the basics, like who is this entertaining chap? Well he is the Mandela’s tribal chief (ouch) and he was convicted on various serious charges perpetrated against his community like murder, assault and kidnapping. And as to the annexing bit, I must appologise for my sensationalist header; he really is only annexing 60% of South Africa including parts of Gauteng (Johannesburg), KwaZulu Natal (Durban), and parts of the FreeState…and parts of the Eastern Cape – and oh yes, parts of the Western Cape like the beachfront property in Camps Bay.

Notice how he cleverly avoids any area that is economically insignificant like the desert for example although, to best of what I recall from Grade 3 history, he certainly has a better claim to the Karoo than Johannesburg . This is what is so interesting from a legal perspective: clients are always telling you the most amazing tales and fully expect you to put that version to the Judge without any consideration as to actual proof because he is obviously a moron who is going to believe whatever you say…suffice it to say this is not entirely the case. Who really needs proof anyway, right? “Yes your Lordship, Johannesburg could be construed as historically a Bantu area, however prior to the 1300’s…” Let’s stop that right there because this probably won’t reach actual trial stage.

Did I mention that the King also expects R 80 billion in compensation as well as fully expecting the Government to foot the bill for annexing our country. Only in South Africa :-) Well not entirely, remember Tibet? Still, we win for entertainment value and for further entertainment have a look at The Star and The Daily Dispatch

KIng

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Blogs, Current Affairs, Politics, featured

read more
30
Nov
2009

16 DAYS: Please Help to Break the Chain

3 Comments

Once upon a time when I still had time to watch Oprah, she did a show on child pornography in America: she showed a map with one red dot representing the origin of one pornographic picture of a little girl and within 24 hours the map of America was a vivid red. Most – yes most – of the perpetrators were doing this to their own daughters. Others drugged their daughter’s friends on sleep overs. There are even instruction manuals that catered for all ages starting when they are months old. On these videos you can often hear the girls crying.

This is in America where they are very much aware of what is going on but don’t have the resources to follow all the leads they have, one can only imagine our situation. You know that women get traded like commodities right? I’m blond and thus I would apparently fetch about R 20 000 in Africa, at least I was told that once when I was twenty-one.  The idea is as absurd as it it is real. Women and child abuse in South Africa, if plotted, would paint our map blood red and to me the most frustrating part is the amount of women who either go back or unfailingly choose the same type of boyfriend. So what can you do when someone you know is abused?

Most cities have Domestic Violence Centres which offer a very radical remedy: an all prevailing principle in law is that both sides of a story must heard before a judgment may be taken. At DV, an interdict preventing contact with the victim simultaneously with a interim maintenance order can be made on the victim’s say-so alone by merely filling in a form – the victim never even sees the magistrate who makes the order. A return date is given where the accused may state his case.  Should he contravene the order he may be arrested immediately.

Obviously it’s not this simple: if he knows someone at the local police station, the police may refuse to arrest him, fucked-up but true. My favourite episode at the DV was when a Muslim man stormed in and started yelling at the councillor: how could they tell him not to hit his children when it was his right to discipline them? So he broke the kid’s collarbone – next  time he’ll listen to his father.

The Muslim man broke my stereo-type but many more exit: I live in a well-to-do neighbourhood and the stories that I can tell are just as dark, the shame even thicker. One woman who lived in a white palace with high walls nearby, was kicked down the stairs one too many times so she gassed herself in her car. Abuse is a psychological game that knows no discrimination – it’s everywhere. And that’s why it should be the community who stands up against those who perpetrate these crimes – we should not allow the purposeful isolation that perpetrators contrive to enable then to keep a psychological noose around the victim’s throat.

Please be aware and when you do see something amiss, don’t turn a blind eye – get involved because it is always your place. Another way to help is to support the 16 Days 16 Charities drive: they provide a wide variety of services and are an important stepping stone for those who have nowhere else to go and no-one to ask. Please check it out.

16 Days of activism

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Blogs, Current Affairs, Uncategorized, featured

read more
08
Oct
2009

Family Advocate: ‘n Onderonsie

2 Comments

You know, what really pisses me off? Well…many things, I’m slightly temperamental. But in trenches of the legal benches, bureaucracy and civil servants on their little power trips absolutely kills me. It’s kind of like small man syndrome only this gnome keeps the keys to people’s lives.

I had popped into the Family Advocate’s office to check up on an appointment for mediation between an unmarried couple who have been unable to come to an agreement regarding their daughter. The Family Advocate is an office where many family advocates are entrusted with ensuring that the best interest of the child as the first consideration in determining parental rights and responsibilities surrounding the child. As with many thing legal – this is the theory at least. There are a few who hold this office for whom I have immense respect. Others not so.

The particular one that had my blood boiling was allowing the mother to abuse the process: the mother had informed the family advocate that she needed to consult with her lawyer before she could attend a mediation session – a session where no lawyer is allowed to be present and no-one but the parents are at liberty to make submissions regarding their children. No such ‘right’ exists so that the family advocate is not obliged to indulge this request. Nevertheless, the family advocate had agreed and at the time of the visit, more than a month had passed with no appointment having been made and the father was denied access to his child by the mother. Even after explaining the situation to the family advocate she insisted that the mother could speak to the lawyer first which resulted in a shouting match, me insisting on a deadline or limit, up to what point would she allow this abuse process? Another week, another month? Would she let the mother deny the parental relationship between father and daughter which is a Constitutional right? It went back and forth for a bit – she didn’t budge and neither would I. I finally left in a huff, spitting with frustration as she had no right to allow what was happening.

Obviously one could apply to court for access but it is no closely guarded secret that a small minority of our country have the financial means to launch such an application. Apparently I did get my point across as an appointment was set-up within a week of my visit but it doesn’t diminish the sin of prejudicing fathers.

images

Sometimes I wished baseball bats are an acceptable remedy. But it’s not. The only advice that I can give fathers is that it’s an open office – walk in and demand that your rights are enforced as well.

Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Blogs

read more
06
Oct
2009

Falling Down the Stairs: My View

No Comments

Tie is a problem, said Lee.

I know, said Anna.

Do you think we need to request that someone be assigned to help us? asked Anna.

You know what they’ll say, she’s just  middle class white girl – even if she does live in Jo’burg, do you really think that we can justify that three angels be assigned to her? replied Lee.

They’d say we are incompetent, Anna completed Lee’s thought and together they sighed.

Looking down on her sleeping from where they were floating just above her bed, you‘d never think that one girl could walk straight into so many dangerous situations? Who elopes with Navy Captains twice their age anymore? He wasn’t even rich…bloody romantics! He could have done some horrible things to her; she didn’t know him from Adam. But crisis averted; one very random trip to Switzerland courtesy of an estranged uncle opened her eyes to possibilities in the world. And she left.

For the past few weeks Tie had been driving without her contact lenses, tomorrow she has a trip to Pretoria planned…and she’s not going to see that truck in time. How will her angels keep her from going? It’s urgent – the advocate has to be in court next week and Tie is determined to get his brief to him come hell or high water. But if the angels don’t do something a very big truck is definitely coming.

The next morning a worried couple of angels watch ed Tie as she ran back and forth, up and down her office, getting ready to leave for Pretoria. Lee turned to Anna: I have an idea but it could be tricky.

Anna nodded, going against her better judgment (tricky means dangerous when it comes to Lee…she wonders about him sometimes) but then almost dead is better than dead, isn’t it? Well according to the living anyway.

Tie leaves the office and stops at the lift where a man is already waiting.

“Hey baby” says the stranger and in a flip decision she skips the lift and heads for the stairs at a fast pace. Down to the first landing she skips and as she turns to go down the next flight Lee, waiting on the landing gives her a little push. Her shoes, as Lee knows, are very slippery and both feet fly out underneath her – documents and limbs are flying but in it all Anna manages to catch her that she fell exactly on the bone of her lower back.

That’s gotta be sore, said Anna as they watched a dazed Tie recover.

Well that was the idea, said Lee. She‘s not crying though, hope it’s sore enough.

She’s in shock – give her a minute, she’ll be crying fountains.

And I did.

Yes I did actually fall down the stairs and the fall put my whole week into a blender…I’m hoping, for no reason that I can explain, that there was a point to falling down the stairs. So I wrote this and I felt better!

falling :-)

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Blogs

read more
01
Oct
2009

District 9 Premier Fashion Faux Pas: C’mon work with me people!

1 Comment

When Vincent told me that we’d be attending the Premier of District 9 I thought, “Yai! A chance to play dress-up and just be a girl!” The schlep of a day job leaves little chance for being a woman in the va-va-voom-look-at-me sense. It’s early mornings, grabbing the first suitable thread and make-up in the rear-view mirror for the most part. Remember the school days when parties were events for which out-fits were surgically put together, every element considered from hair and what goes in it to the tips of your toes, the stockings and shoes that clad them? My house would turn into a frenzy of giggling girls, trying on outfits, exchanging clothes, doing each-others’ hair – the whole process could take an entire afternoon. And then the party, the boys and the poor parents trying to keep order…oh, to not have a care in the world…

Unfortunately, I didn’t have the whole week to plan for the premier. A Chanel boy-suit ensemble finished with pearls dripping down an unbuttoned white shirt and red lips would have to do. Besides, the dress code was something like smart but not formal but no jeans…hu? Well it’s not astro-physics but if it’s cold and legs aren’t your best asset, it’s a bit tricky. Either way – I knew I wouldn’t be the only one who frowned over the dress code and the results were a mish mash of near hits and misses and a few bravos;

The obligatory matric dance dresses with stoles were the most obvious…well actually not: the prats who decided to flip the bird and go in jeans, takkies and tracksuit hoodies were the sore thumbs. I know they think that they’re being individualistic and they’ve got nothing to prove but they’re wrong on both scores. There was more than one of these so they’re not so individualistic and this film, a 95% South African production deserved some respect as number one in the American rankings. We as South Africans still do have something to prove to the rest of the world and strolling in looking like a slob simply detracts from the whole occasion, stealing a bit of well deserved glamour for those who worked hard to make this film and this event a success – shame on you!

Fortunately, most of did try. Understated with a detailed coat seemed to be the safe-bet of choice. The food was quite nice, the wine not too bad and the company brilliant :-) We had Tim to thank for our invites and I met his vivacious girlfriend Jo for the first time looking elegant-but-naughty in an off the shoulder LBD by a friend (handy friend to have around, hu?) and killer candy apple red heels.

All I can say is GO WATCH THAT MOVIE! I haven’t been so proud since Charlize won an Oscar. Bravo boys and girls, well done.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Fashion, Film Reviews

read more
24
Sep
2009

Perske Reens, A Poem

No Comments

rain

I heard myself laughing
-the melody of happiness-
my long black dress was dancing
around bare legs and bare feet
to a thunderstorms’ heartbeat
with wind-sprites in my long blond hair;
together we waltzed down the street.
My spirit lifted to the darkened sky
and the mad elements let loose therein -
beautiful chaos let fly!
Mukuru pounded the earth
with electric white until
the clouds gave birth
and Africa sighed:
the time of plenty has come -
Summer has arrived.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Poetry

read more
24
Sep
2009

Piza e Vino and Goodmans Butchery

No Comments

The air is electric – literally! As I type this, the first real thunder storm of summer has doused Jo’burg! As if by magic, it never fails to fill me with an incredible sense of joy. I wrote this poem five years ago and it still describes exactly how I feel tonight despite the long day behind me.

This year has just whizzed past and the recent change of seasons leaves me more dreamy than usual (which is virtually sky-bound for pisceans who naturally live with their heads in the clouds). Optimism fuelled by new green shoots on the trees in Parkhurst and the sound of hatchlings has me building castles and unusually for me they’re not only in the sky. But as I can’t say anything about that just yet – here’s the run down since I’ve been so absent lately:

Vincent’s parents were here this last weekend and we were spoiled rotten as they always do; they love food as much as Vincent and I do so we always have to try new places when they come around.

Friday night we went to our new favourite pizza spot in Jo’burg: Piza e Vino in Melrose Arch. Mr Hof wasn’t blown away by Sugo (which we still go to often) so we held our breath to see whether our new find would live up to his high expectations. The interior is modern/retro and as a centre piece stands a beautiful mosaic oven decorated with a large blue ‘Ed Hardy’ swallow suspended mid flight in a yellow sky. For starters we shared crostini – two each of caprese, salami and chickpea spread. The bread was perfect; soft and chewy and the toppings were quality ingredients, all three was fantastic! Then the pizza and yes indeed, this time we got it right. Well almost: Mr Hof thinks he can improve the tomato sauce but really it is a brilliant pizza no matter what topping you choose. If nothing else proves this it’s that Vincent for the first time in five years regularly tries pizzas other than parma and rocket. A special word must be said about Piza e Vino’s steak topping – the pieces are cut think, almost more than a mouth full and it prepared far better than 99% of steak restaurants in Jo’burg - honestly, cross my heart.

The next morning, Vincent insisted that we go in search of the Swiss-Geneve bakery on Kotze street in Braamfontein. Alas, all we found was the memory of where it once was in brightly painted building. And even the memory wasn’t so easy to find: the problem with dating a gadget obsessed man is that he thinks that consulting a map before you actually go looking for a place is old fashioned and maps are only required once the Google or the GPS on his iphone says “Eish! Ga ke tsebe!”Nevermind, Vince’s parents haven’t seen Hillbrow for a few decades – now they know where not to get lost in Jo’burg.

The next treasure on our hunt was a German butchery. The Hofmanns hail from Germany (Mr Hof is first generation South African) and German cooking is a specialty of his. Goodman’s Butchery on Republic is proper German – the owners speak German, therefore they must know what they’re doing, right? Well I don’t believe anything is ever a sure bet and I’d only seen this place from the road on my way to court. Thank heavens! It was awesome; the owner greeted us as we walked in with a piece of boerewors on a toothpick (brilliant – Vincent shamelessly procured three :-) and it continued with two fridges packed solid with wors alone. We left with an armful of shopping only to discover that we’d walked into (no really, it’s so full there was no parking and we had to park outside) a little market of sorts: each shop is old school-owner run and among them there was a flower shop, a dairy and a baker (a large block of a man who gamely shared his secret to dark coloured rye bread with Mr. Hof.) Now we can’t wait to move into the closer.

Flip it’s late and there’s at least three more restaurants that need discussing – I’ll have to get to them on Thursday: tomorrow night is the premier of John Kani’s play turned movie and I’m looking forward. So ‘till Thursday then – ciao.

PizaEVinoMelroseLogoPizaEVinoMelrosePic4

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in featured

read more
03
Jul
2009

Peasants Raisng Their Own Taxes For The Sheriff?

No Comments

It’s winter and so I’m more aware of beggars than usual. In Joburg they’re everywhere but have you ever considered them and their trade? Every so often most people give them money, an exchange happens, a transaction of sorts – that is after all the point of money; a tool facilitating bartering. What is it that we, the givers of money buy exactly? Do we buy absolution from illogical guilt? Do we buy self-esteem? Perhaps we buy our own little pat on the back because giving to the poor makes you a Good Person.

Whatever the trade, a ‘poor’ person selling his poverty and a ‘rich’ person buying it is at least reasonably logical. But what I find fascinating is ‘rich’ people who sell poverty to ‘poor’ or at least ‘poorer’ people – and they buy it! One such a man lives in a good neighbourhood, drives an expensive car and although he certainly doesn’t charter jets, anyone with one waking brain cell can see that the man is not in dire straights. Yet whenever he receives a service or goods are bought, he will complain to high heavens of all the bills he has to pay. Not all his debt mind you – never would he tarnish himself with the foul stuff, it’s his bills that become due and payable in due course which he laments to all within ear shot. And so he bargains, gets discount or leave to pay at a later stage interest free and this is obviously long after be had bargained down the original price already.

Smart man? Warren Buffet is probably the most famous example of such a man; he is forever evaluating value for money and only buys when he believes that he is getting a bargain. He’s certainly not doing so badly.

But there is a problem; a profound crisis of authenticity. If someone feels cheated – even when he agreed of his own free will – he is bound to compensate. He may refuse to work with the ‘rich’ person again or he may only deliver the quality or quantity of work he feels is truly justified by the tender received. So when the rich guy thinks he’s winning he shooting himself in the foot really.

Yet it happens every day; the rich selling poverty – quite fascinating in itself but that people actually buy it when they’re free to say no? I’m sure even Adam Smith would reconsider the rationality of consumers.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized

read more
« Older Entries