In the wake of convictions on criminal charges such as murder and assualt, King Buyelekhaya Dalindyebo of the abaThembu has carefully considered his options and, rather creatively, has come up with a brilliant solution to his pending incarceration: annex South Africa! King Buyelekhaya Dalindyebo gave formal notice to the Presidency, parliament and the NPA that following his humiliation at the hands of the High Court of Mthatha and the South African Media, he and his people – loosely estimated at 10 million – will be leaving South Africa, so to speak.

Now lets start with the basics, like who is this entertaining chap? Well he is the Mandela’s tribal chief (ouch) and he was convicted on various serious charges perpetrated against his community like murder, assault and kidnapping. And as to the annexing bit, I must appologise for my sensationalist header; he really is only annexing 60% of South Africa including parts of Gauteng (Johannesburg), KwaZulu Natal (Durban), and parts of the FreeState…and parts of the Eastern Cape – and oh yes, parts of the Western Cape like the beachfront property in Camps Bay.

Notice how he cleverly avoids any area that is economically insignificant like the desert for example although, to best of what I recall from Grade 3 history, he certainly has a better claim to the Karoo than Johannesburg . This is what is so interesting from a legal perspective: clients are always telling you the most amazing tales and fully expect you to put that version to the Judge without any consideration as to actual proof because he is obviously a moron who is going to believe whatever you say…suffice it to say this is not entirely the case. Who really needs proof anyway, right? “Yes your Lordship, Johannesburg could be construed as historically a Bantu area, however prior to the 1300′s…” Let’s stop that right there because this probably won’t reach actual trial stage.

Did I mention that the King also expects R 80 billion in compensation as well as fully expecting the Government to foot the bill for annexing our country. Only in South Africa Well not entirely, remember Tibet? Still, we win for entertainment value and for further entertainment have a look at The Star and The Daily Dispatch