Comments for Talita's Blog http://moralfibre.co.za/talita Talita Myburgh's Blog Thu, 04 Mar 2010 18:43:05 +0200 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5.2 hourly 1 Comment on Divorce and the New Children's Act: A Substantial Change to Father's Rights by Talita http://moralfibre.co.za/talita/2009/02/09/divorce-and-the-new-childrens-act-a-substantial-change-to-fathers-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-132 Talita Thu, 04 Mar 2010 18:43:05 +0000 http://www.moralfibre.co.za/?p=1914#comment-132 You have to go to court but don't worry, it's not like they've made up their minds in advance. It like when you're involved in an car accident and somebody is hurt; the police are obliged to investigate and determine whether someone was driving recklessly. He's laid a complaint and they're obliged to do something about it. You just show up and tell them your side. Take some moral support and a witness or two just in case because ultimately it will be your word against his. Be prepared: draw up an argument wherein you refer to dates, times if possible and the effect that his behaviour has had on your kid - just be sincere and speak to the magistrate with respect. You'll be fine :-) You have to go to court but don’t worry, it’s not like they’ve made up their minds in advance. It like when you’re involved in an car accident and somebody is hurt; the police are obliged to investigate and determine whether someone was driving recklessly. He’s laid a complaint and they’re obliged to do something about it. You just show up and tell them your side. Take some moral support and a witness or two just in case because ultimately it will be your word against his. Be prepared: draw up an argument wherein you refer to dates, times if possible and the effect that his behaviour has had on your kid – just be sincere and speak to the magistrate with respect. You’ll be fine :-)

]]> Comment on Divorce and the New Children's Act: A Substantial Change to Father's Rights by Cupcakes http://moralfibre.co.za/talita/2009/02/09/divorce-and-the-new-childrens-act-a-substantial-change-to-fathers-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-131 Cupcakes Thu, 04 Mar 2010 18:35:37 +0000 http://www.moralfibre.co.za/?p=1914#comment-131 Hi Talita I have been divorced nearly 2 years. My ex-husband has only seen my son 5 times since, his choice. The divorce decree states that he gets to see my son every 2nd wknd which never happened. Whenever I use to phone him to ask if he's fetching him, he says he'z not ready to see our son. After a few months I just never phoned to ask again. He saw my son every 5 months for 1 week-end. Out of the blue I got a phone call today from a police saying that a charge has been layed against me, contempt of court. I was so shocked. I have never kept my son away from him and now his keeping me in contempt of court. What am I to do now:-( Hi Talita

I have been divorced nearly 2 years. My ex-husband has only seen my son 5 times since, his choice. The divorce decree states that he gets to see my son every 2nd wknd which never happened. Whenever I use to phone him to ask if he’s fetching him, he says he’z not ready to see our son. After a few months I just never phoned to ask again. He saw my son every 5 months for 1 week-end. Out of the blue I got a phone call today from a police saying that a charge has been layed against me, contempt of court. I was so shocked. I have never kept my son away from him and now his keeping me in contempt of court. What am I to do now:-(

]]> Comment on Family Advocate: ‘n Onderonsie by Talita http://moralfibre.co.za/talita/2009/10/08/family-advocate-n-onderonsie/comment-page-1/#comment-130 Talita Thu, 04 Mar 2010 17:25:10 +0000 http://moralfibre.co.za/talita/?p=4501#comment-130 Good for you - I hope you have a detailed record of your correspondence with her. Getting a court order is the best way to finalise matters in any event - well, should an amicable settlement become impossible at least. Good for you – I hope you have a detailed record of your correspondence with her. Getting a court order is the best way to finalise matters in any event – well, should an amicable settlement become impossible at least.

]]> Comment on Divorce and the New Children's Act: A Substantial Change to Father's Rights by Talita http://moralfibre.co.za/talita/2009/02/09/divorce-and-the-new-childrens-act-a-substantial-change-to-fathers-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-129 Talita Thu, 04 Mar 2010 16:15:35 +0000 http://www.moralfibre.co.za/?p=1914#comment-129 @ Raymond: There's no law on earth that could make him listen to you. Just don't give up - email him, explain everything in detail. Then leave an open invitation to contact you. If you can stomach it, you can also email him on a regular basis updating him about your life. Let himget to know you at a distance. Who know's but its easier to for him to stay away if you're a stranger and if this is the only way that he can get to know his dad, it's worth a try. It might take years but I'd say less. Every kid wants to know their father. Good luck. @ Raymond: There’s no law on earth that could make him listen to you. Just don’t give up – email him, explain everything in detail. Then leave an open invitation to contact you. If you can stomach it, you can also email him on a regular basis updating him about your life. Let himget to know you at a distance. Who know’s but its easier to for him to stay away if you’re a stranger and if this is the only way that he can get to know his dad, it’s worth a try. It might take years but I’d say less. Every kid wants to know their father. Good luck.

]]> Comment on Divorce and the New Children's Act: A Substantial Change to Father's Rights by Talita http://moralfibre.co.za/talita/2009/02/09/divorce-and-the-new-childrens-act-a-substantial-change-to-fathers-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-128 Talita Thu, 04 Mar 2010 16:12:12 +0000 http://www.moralfibre.co.za/?p=1914#comment-128 @LH: Maintenance is not quid pro quo for access to your children, she cannot obstruct your visitation rights. The best option would be to approach the Maintenance Court to have the order varied, I would think. @LH: Maintenance is not quid pro quo for access to your children, she cannot obstruct your visitation rights. The best option would be to approach the Maintenance Court to have the order varied, I would think.

]]> Comment on Divorce and the New Children's Act: A Substantial Change to Father's Rights by LH http://moralfibre.co.za/talita/2009/02/09/divorce-and-the-new-childrens-act-a-substantial-change-to-fathers-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-127 LH Thu, 04 Mar 2010 12:39:36 +0000 http://www.moralfibre.co.za/?p=1914#comment-127 Hi Nice good info here. My Ex wife has custody of my two sons. I pay maitenance every month. I lost my Job and cannot pay at the moment has she the right to stop them from visiting me every 2nd weekend as in our divorce agreement(she is threating to do such) and what can I do if she does do that. L Hi Nice good info here. My Ex wife has custody of my two sons. I pay maitenance every month. I lost my Job and cannot pay at the moment has she the right to stop them from visiting me every 2nd weekend as in our divorce agreement(she is threating to do such) and what can I do if she does do that. L

]]> Comment on Family Advocate: ‘n Onderonsie by DIETER http://moralfibre.co.za/talita/2009/10/08/family-advocate-n-onderonsie/comment-page-1/#comment-126 DIETER Sun, 28 Feb 2010 10:50:33 +0000 http://moralfibre.co.za/talita/?p=4501#comment-126 I am a devorced father. Fighting the systim for 2 years now being abused by an family advocate Salome Langevelder in Pretoria! I have met all the court's demands but still no reply from the family advocates office. I am not allowed to make an appointment! now i am going to court representing myself. I am a devorced father. Fighting the systim for 2 years now being abused by an family advocate Salome Langevelder in Pretoria! I have met all the court’s demands but still no reply from the family advocates office. I am not allowed to make an appointment! now i am going to court representing myself.

]]> Comment on Divorce and the New Children's Act: A Substantial Change to Father's Rights by Raymond Oliver http://moralfibre.co.za/talita/2009/02/09/divorce-and-the-new-childrens-act-a-substantial-change-to-fathers-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-125 Raymond Oliver Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:06:47 +0000 http://www.moralfibre.co.za/?p=1914#comment-125 Hi T , Some quick advice please.My ex disappeared with my son some 12 years ago.This was when he was aged 7yrs.For what reason I don't know , but she hated me for the divorce full stop.She and her new husband at the time , I believe went overseas,then some 3yrs ago I managed to trace them to the Cape, but could not get any new info.Now since 1 week ago I traced my son on Face book and sent him a short message asking him for half an hour to hear my side of the story as there are always two sides.But as I thought not only did the ex change his surname but totally poisoned my son against me.Needless to say he never replied and blocked my name.However I still managed to find out that he moved to SA from Botswana some weeks ago and is living with his sister in JHB.I have her contact number but fear rejection again.Is there no legal way that I can just get him to listen to me for 30minutes with no forcing of any relationship.I just want to explain to him that I never gave him up or walked out on him.And that he just needs to know the truth.Then if he wants a relationship with me great if not I will have to walk away.As hard as it would be.He is now 19yrs old. Ray Hi T , Some quick advice please.My ex disappeared with my son some 12 years ago.This was when he was aged 7yrs.For what reason I don’t know , but she hated me for the divorce full stop.She and her new husband at the time , I believe went overseas,then some 3yrs ago I managed to trace them to the Cape, but could not get any new info.Now since 1 week ago I traced my son on Face book and sent him a short message asking him for half an hour to hear my side of the story as there are always two sides.But as I thought not only did the ex change his surname but totally poisoned my son against me.Needless to say he never replied and blocked my name.However I still managed to find out that he moved to SA from Botswana some weeks ago and is living with his sister in JHB.I have her contact number but fear rejection again.Is there no legal way that I can just get him to listen to me for 30minutes with no forcing of any relationship.I just want to explain to him that I never gave him up or walked out on him.And that he just needs to know the truth.Then if he wants a relationship with me great if not I will have to walk away.As hard as it would be.He is now 19yrs old.
Ray

]]> Comment on Divorce and the New Children's Act: A Substantial Change to Father's Rights by Greg http://moralfibre.co.za/talita/2009/02/09/divorce-and-the-new-childrens-act-a-substantial-change-to-fathers-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-124 Greg Fri, 15 Jan 2010 05:42:39 +0000 http://www.moralfibre.co.za/?p=1914#comment-124 Morning Talita A quick question pleas as I am very confused at the moment. My ex wife has Primary residence of my 2 daughters however it states in our divorce agreement that the parenting responsibilities are jointly between the 2 of us. Now does this mean she can unilaterally make decsions around the children without consulting me. For example schooloing and extra mural activities and who can and cannot collect them from school. Morning Talita

A quick question pleas as I am very confused at the moment. My ex wife has Primary residence of my 2 daughters however it states in our divorce agreement that the parenting responsibilities are jointly between the 2 of us.

Now does this mean she can unilaterally make decsions around the children without consulting me. For example schooloing and extra mural activities and who can and cannot collect them from school.

]]> Comment on Divorce and the New Children's Act: A Substantial Change to Father's Rights by Talita http://moralfibre.co.za/talita/2009/02/09/divorce-and-the-new-childrens-act-a-substantial-change-to-fathers-rights/comment-page-1/#comment-123 Talita Thu, 14 Jan 2010 17:45:47 +0000 http://www.moralfibre.co.za/?p=1914#comment-123 You have to go to your local family advocates' office. This is going to sound odd but I'd ask to see a male advocate if possible, he will understand the difficult position that your wife has put you in better. You have the right to mediation and they have to arrange a mediation; a meeting between you and your wife where the rights and responsibilities are discussed. You have to request that a parenting plan be drawn up that will define the rights and responsibilities - this can be incorporated in your divorce so that if she doesn't abide by it, it will constitute contempt of court. You will need some legal advise or guidance, most universities run law clinics where law students learn the ropes with supervision. It really would be worth enquiring at your local universities' law faculty to find out where the clinic is. You also don't have to wait for your wife to continue with the divorce proceedings but I would see the family advocate first. Your local high court will be able to tell you the number of your local family advocate. I know it's cold comfort but trust me when I say that this is not the first time something like this has happened, don't give up and you'll get through it. Good luck! You have to go to your local family advocates’ office. This is going to sound odd but I’d ask to see a male advocate if possible, he will understand the difficult position that your wife has put you in better. You have the right to mediation and they have to arrange a mediation; a meeting between you and your wife where the rights and responsibilities are discussed. You have to request that a parenting plan be drawn up that will define the rights and responsibilities – this can be incorporated in your divorce so that if she doesn’t abide by it, it will constitute contempt of court.

You will need some legal advise or guidance, most universities run law clinics where law students learn the ropes with supervision. It really would be worth enquiring at your local universities’ law faculty to find out where the clinic is. You also don’t have to wait for your wife to continue with the divorce proceedings but I would see the family advocate first. Your local high court will be able to tell you the number of your local family advocate.

I know it’s cold comfort but trust me when I say that this is not the first time something like this has happened, don’t give up and you’ll get through it. Good luck!

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